Sexist Feedback?

"I am so frustrated! I’m really good at what I do – literally everyone at work wants me to do my “magic” on their projects. However, I just got out of my annual performance review, and once again, I get this bulls__t feedback that I am too harsh and abrasive in my communications! Why is it when women are strong, we are “too bossy” and when we push to get things done, we are “too aggressive”? Should I go to HR? Can’t imagine they will do anything but I am at my wits' end! Do I stay or do I go??" 🅰 AVA Advice ❇️Each situation is different and the role that HR can and will take is dependent on your HR team's skills, the organizational culture, and your ability to “make your case.” Is this bias throughout the organization or is it isolated to your leader? ❇️If it is the organization, consider whether you want to and can push water uphill. More importantly, bringing in HR shifts the power away from you. Can you go on to thrive in the environment after ceding your power? If you have positive past experience and behavioral evidence that HR will support you and is able to convince senior leadership, then we encourage you to consider this route. ❇️If your boss is an isolated issue, make a plan to enhance your own power standing. In your review or whenever they give you this feedback, resist the urge to argue in the moment. As Robert Greene says "the resentment and ill will you stir up is stronger and lasts longer". Instead thank them for the feedback and pivot the conversation to the positive things you are doing. And every day afterward, shamelessly and tactfully promote your amazing work to everyone and anyone. You can gain power by winning through your work! ❇️Making and executing a plan to address all of this takes practice. It’s key to decide what strategy & tactics suit your situation. Giving up power isn’t nearly as fun as figuring out a way to strategically own your power in the workplace! In our Power & Influence workshops, we help you create and practice your plan of action (AVA Aim). ➡️How about you? Do you have a similar experience? If you want to share your story anonymously, direct message AVA or email us at

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